How difficult is Adoption of a “white” baby for a married couple ?

Question by Mr Rob: How difficult is Adoption of a “white” baby for a married couple ?
I am open to adopting a child of any race, but my wife, who has been struggeling with infertility for over three years, says she would prefer to adopt a healthy “white” baby, so they child suffers less stigma.

Setting aside the racial/moral questions regarding selecting the race of a child for adoption, I want to know more about how adoption “really” works.

I am of the understanding that its fairly hard to adopt white infants under age 1 in the US, but I don’t know the facts. I’d heard that state agencies used to have preferences for placing children with families of the same or similar race, but that sounds crazy to me.

Is the race of the baby to be adopted more of a public/state run adoption issue vs private adoptions? Are private adoptions the better way to go for this? How much do private adoptions cost?

Just new to this whole scene and have no idea where to start. Thanks.
Everyone on here scheming about trolling is ridiculous. Ever heard of people changing their minds, or questioning a decision after the fact, based on informAtion you’d really wished you’d had at the time? Truth is my wife and I have been PRIVATELY trying for three years…while I PUBLICLY questioned when or whether to start, in part because of genuine concerns after the fact, and part because I was in denial about our infertility struggles. Thanks for showing what petty is really all about. Yes, I’ve had some infidelity problems with my wife in the past, guess what, she has too. Yes, I’ve been with younger women who are eighteen or nineteen because I’m not the greatest husband ever. Not any worse than my wife sleeping with TWO of my best friends. But we’re still married, thank you. Yes, I got a college freshman girl pregnant by accident and pushed her into an abortion against her wishes, and I felt awful awful about it. Guilt riddled. Had a drinking problem, and

Best answer:

Answer by ir682000
Find an agency in your area and attend a free information session. There will be able to answer all of your questions with real statistics. GL.

What do you think? Answer below!

Emma Widmer works with the birth parent post correspondence at Adoption STAR. Adoption STAR is a non-profit adoption agency that educates families on the adoption process, and works to find families for children in need. www.adoptionstar.com

check out these international adoption infant products

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4 thoughts on “How difficult is Adoption of a “white” baby for a married couple ?”

  1. How it really works is that you pay thousands of dollars to an agency, who spend thousands of dollars on heavy-handed ‘marketing’ and tactics of questionable ethics to persuade unsuspecting expectant Moms that their paying customers are more worthy of raising her baby.

    If you really want to be part of this multi-billion dollar industry/business in which babies are the commodity, shame on you.

    Below is an article that will help you understand what is going on.

    If it wasn’t a profit driven enterprise, adoption costs would not be dependent upon the race of the child and the cost would be equal for ALL children. As it stands the most in demand (Healthy white infants) ‘cost’ more . . . thousands more.

  2. Adopting privately, or through an agency, can easily run upwards of $ 20K. Of course you can specify the race and health of the child you choose, no matter how you adopt, but the more narrow your choices, the longer you may wait for a suitable infant.

    If you adopt via the state (which, in the case of an infant, generally means becoming a licensed foster parent first), it would be much less expensive. But as a foster parent, your job would be to support reunification between the birth parents and the child you hope to adopt. You might foster, and get attached to, several infants you have to give back, before you finally get the one you’d be able to keep.

    If you adopt through normal channels (an agency or an adoption attorney), there’s some question of ethics, and I don’t mean race. There are many reports of mothers being coerced into surrendering their babies. Considering the enormous fees paid by adopters, you can see why adoption agencies may sometimes use unethical tactics to persuade mothers to surrender. It’s why many on this forum oppose adoption, to one degree or another. That accounts for all the negative answers you’re sure to get here.

    I personally don’t oppose adoption, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to adopt a child of your own race. However, I believe that adoption should be about the needs of the child, over and above the needs of the adopting parents. If you want to proceed, please do everything you can first to learn about “the dark side of adoption” (as some here call it), so you can make an ethical and informed choice. It’s important to understand all the ways adoption affects both adoptees and birth moms.

  3. The first thing you should do is perhaps some research, adoption.com was an invaluable resource for me when I decided to adopt. You should contact an adoption agency and perhaps an adoption attorney to decide if you’d rather just go the private adoption route.

    As far as costs foster to adopt generally costs the least, often it is free but there is a good chance you won’t be able to adopt an infant that way. Agencies and private adoptions generally range from 8000-30000, while international is 11000-30000. All have there pros and cons, you will have to decide what is right for your family.

    As far as it being unethical-bologna. Some women don’t want to or can’t parent so they choose to do what’s best for the baby and give the child up for adoption. Every child deserves love and a family.

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