What is the ‘adoption community’??

Question by Possum: What is the ‘adoption community’??
I am an adoptee.
I have lived adoption my entire life.
I am in communication with many on all sides of adoption – on a frequent basis.

Am I not part of the ‘adoption community’ – or are adoptees that are vocal and hope for best parenting practices for all adoptees – excluded from this secret club???

And is all research which implies that their are issues within current adoption practices considered void and null – because they perhaps don’t fit in with the adoption agency line??

Just curious really.


Best answer:

Answer by Crazy Pregnant Lady
Oh sweetie, you don’t want to be a part of that club. I tried to get in once, but then I realized that the ONLY people in that club are those who feel the need to make themselves sound important and knowledgeable because they’ve spent significant amounts of time talking to others who have purchased children in order to meet their own wants.

ETA: You know what comes to mind when I hear the phrase “adoption community”? The Men’s Club in the Stepford Wives (note: I’ve only read the book, so I don’t know what the movie is like…hope everyone knows what I’m talking about).

What do you think? Answer below!

One of Hope For Families adoptive couples, share their story of international adoption from Guatemala. They share their journey from being unable to conceive…
Video Rating: 3 / 5

check out these international adoption baby products

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5 thoughts on “What is the ‘adoption community’??”

  1. Possum, you know your own truth.

    Stick by that. You should never have to feel your opinion is less validated just because Adoptive Mommy 1 wants to believe there are sunshine, bunnies and daisies in adoption.

    And no, talking about how your child experienced racism and brushing it off as “all children get teased, plus we love you and we’re your parents so that’s all that matters” does NOT count as discussing racism and ethnic issues.

    You need to blog more often, Poss…. these would be such good topics to blog about.

    ETA: [I think you probably have a very hard time being a part of any community that does not endorse your extremely angry and unreasonable views.]

    There’s that dismissive wave again. The familiar label of “angry.” Sigh.

  2. “Do you really believe that adopting because you want to have a child is “the wrong reason”? Isn’t that just human nature? I would strongly suggest that you spend more time learning about adoption if you are seriously considering it. You may know a lot about Guatemala, but I don’t think you know a lot about parenting.”

    Well, when I was considering adoption a few years ago and was on a support adoption board this is the lovely response I got from the moron that started the board.
    It was in response to the following questions I posted.

    1. Why is it that so many people on here complain about the wait process?
    Isn’t it good that there isn’t a supply of young children needing
    2. Why do so many AP here question a birth parent ethics/decision when they change their minds or the gov’t steps in when something “wasn’t right” about the adoption of a certain child?
    3.With so much corruption going on, why haven’t AP’s of guatemalan
    children gone back to the country to make sure their adopted child
    wasn’t taken away from a birthmother? Right now many are standing up because of coercion/fraud and they want their babies back.
    4.Why do so many people on here praise themselves for wanting to adopt but have such strict requirements like under 5 or a baby and no health issues. Isn’t the idea of adoption about helping a child in need that doesn’t have parents and needs a home?

    I guess if your not in the mentality “all is good in adoption land” than your against adoption in general. The responses to the questions were honest, pathetic and disturbed. Most were negative comments about guatemalan nmoms. A couple of people even got upset when I corrected them that Mayan isn’t a language.

    Edit: VANs post is possibly a virus. Just hit ctrl..alt..delete. Task manager.

  3. It’s politically correct speak for f*cked members.

    1) People who got screwed out of being raised by their families, for whatever reason.

    2) People who got screwed (or stupidly lost the opportunity) out of raising their own children.

    3) Infertile (or do-gooders) who have convinced themselves it’s all the same so they adopt, and don’t know what they got themselves into.

    4) The gate-keepers of the “community”, the agencies and attorneys who get money for their membership with none of the pain.

  4. Dear Possum,

    If an adoptee isn’t a part of the “adoption community,” I don’t know who the h3ll is. Your voice is such a gift, please, ignore the ignorant. Keep up dispelling the adoption myths. You are heard and appreciated:)

  5. I think you probably have a very hard time being a part of any community that does not endorse your extremely angry and unreasonable views. But you are still a part of the triad and if you choose to spend more time in the community over time you may find a way to live a little more peacefully in the world.

    It is one thing to have a viewpoint, it is another to launch endless bizarre attacks against anyone who does not happen to agree.

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